Couples Therapy
When I work with couples, I first consider the individual requirements that build the foundation of a shared dynamic in the couple’s relationship.
For this, I conduct preliminary talks with each partner on a one-to-one basis, which already serves to reduce strife in a conflict.
“Finally I am being heard”,
“We have begun to work on our problems”,
“For the first time I am able to share responsibility”.
Each partner in a relationship brings with them their own story, which forms the basis for their actions and patterns of conflict. This is in no way about evaluating the past, but about acknowledging it. This is the foundation of my work, in all areas.
I have great appreciation for everything that emerges in personal conversations. A journey to find yourself together with your relationship partner requires courage and trust. It is often about developing a common attitude that is the gateway to a new space in a relationship.
I see therapy as a space for encounters and try to work with therapeutic tools as little as possible, but rather aim to discover the basis and potential of your relationship with you.
Authentic, not hierarchical, trauma sensitive.
In this context, value-oriented means establishing the cultural and ethical foundations that mean something to you personally as a guiding principle in the relationship. There are no hard and fast rules here, but even more to pay attention to. This is particularly true for couples with different cultural roots.
Understanding differences as a democratic process and accompanying crises as an opportunity for personal and shared growth is a wonderful challenge.
My own attitude …
… is shaped by my German origins, which I have repeatedly reflected on over long years of personal development. For me as a German, the question arose as to how the history of my country influences personal relationships, the ability to perceive and express feelings. Impressions that began long before the Third Reich.
I completed additional training in sex therapy and observed a real boom in sexual openness in my former hometown of Berlin, which raised many questions for me. In particular, questions about personal ethics of action, even in so-called ‘open’ relationships.
One of my answers to seemingly limitless choices is: contact.
When is our togetherness honest and how close can we be?
How much space do we give love in our lives?
What does giving up unlimited choice, in the form of loyalty, mean?
